F=Fredrik Lindström
B=Bruce Dickinson

The interview was in a part of the show which was called "Un-f**king-plugged"...

F: Welcome to "Hassan" Mr Bruce Dickinson!
B: Hello very much!
F: You're the former lead singer of Iron Maiden...
B: [silence...] Yes.
F: Yes, that's right. You're also former lead singer of Samson... That's very long ago.
B: It's the right answer.
F: Yes.
B: Yes.
F: Your flew over here to Sweden, I understand...
B: Yes.
F: You fly by yourself?
B: With an aeroplane...
F: Yes. When did you learn flying?
B: Ah... Well, it started with jumping off small objects and then I realised I needed an aeroplane. So I went to a flying school and found one.
F: Do you fly a lot?
B: Yea, ah, I find it helps me stay alive, rather than leaping off tall buildings.
F: Sort of a hobby, or???
B: Yes, sort of, really just in preference due to parachutes.
F: But when you're out on tour, do you take your own aeroplane?
B: Yea, sometimes, cause they don't like me jumping out of the civil airliners.
F: Could be interesting, we've got a Swedish artist called Jerry Williams who always takes his own bike when he's on tour.
B: Really?
F: So when somebody does like that we say "he did a Jerry Williams", so we could say that people does a "Bruce Dickinson" when they take their own aeroplane out on the road.
B: That's right. He could take his aeroplane and my bike. Or my bike and his aeroplane... Or???
F: You have children, right?
B: I have three children. Yes.
F: How old are they?
B: Three and a half, two and two weeks.
F: Do you have any special methods when you wash their hair?
B: Usually soap and water...
F: Yes, but I mean if you get shampoo in their eyes, you know, they always cry. Do you have different methods to avoid getting the shampoo into their eyes?
B: Well, we usually hang them upside down on the washing machine by their toes.
F: And they like it. They don't cry?
B: Yea, they love the way it keeps going round and round and round and round and then goes round and round and round the other way, you know. We put them into the dryer, the tumble-dryer, afterwards. We put them on the "Fluffy".
F: And they're pleased?
B: Yes, because they like roundabouts and rollercoasters and things like that. Even though it's dark and makes a lot of noise, they like it, you know, the "[Bruce now imitates the sound of a tumble dryer]"...
F: ...It's a bit cheaper, also...
B: ...and the big bell goes off when they're ready. It's cheaper than the microwave.
F: OK, that sounds really great, you're here to do the "Un-f**king-plugged" so I guess you should go over there but first you should tell us what you are going to sing.
B: You know, most listeners to "Un-f**king-plugged" are obviously philosophy students so I'm gonna give a brief history of philosophy.
F: OK, sounds really nice.

Immanuel Kant was a real pissed ant, 
he was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar 
who could think you under the table
Davit Hume could out-consume Shopenhauer and Weigel...  ...Heigel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine he was just as schlossed as Schegel
There's nothing Nietsche couldn't teach you 
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed...

John Stuart Mill of his own free will 
and a half a pint of Bitter was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away, 
half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a buggar for the bottle, 
Hobbes was fund of his dram
And René Descartes was a drunken fart, "I drink therefore I am"
Yet Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a buggar when he's pissed

Thank you very much, Goodnight!

For those of you out there who does not know, this was a song from the stage version of Monty Python's infamous sketch with the Australian Philosophers referred to as the "No pooftas" sketch (from which Bruce got his Samson era nickname Bruce Bruce).