The Bruce Dickinson Wellbeing Network


Back in the late 80's (probably around 1986-87 or so), in the wake of a divorce and out of boredom Bruce had started writing a story about an English landlord in northern Scotland. This was on the Somewhere in time-tour when Bruce spent sleepless night penning down the story about the twenty-fifth Laird of Findidnann, Lord Iffy Boatrace.

Iffy's problem in both books is money, or rather the lack of them, and the books follow him through the quest for wealth.

When the first book, The adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace sold out almost immediately the publisher asked Bruce to write a sequel. He accepted and the second book The Missionarry position was published in 1992.

The adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace

ISBN 0 283 06043 3

In The adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace Iffy tries to solve this problem with all year around grouse hunting. But there are hardly any grouse to hunt on Iffy's estate, so he needs to get some built for him. Iffy's neighbour, the retired wing commander, Bill Symes-Groat, helps him by introducing him to "a huge plum pudding with a cherry on top". This isn't of course just an ordinary plum pudding but a very very special and very very secret agent. He agrees to build Iffy some indestructible grouse.

Next move is to invite some people from Iffy's old boarding school under the false pretense of a school reunion. The guests arrive and then some bizarre stuff starts to happen.

The book was written during the "Somewhere on tour 86/87" and was published by Sidgwick & Jackson in May 1990 and is (was, it's now deleted) available in a hard-back format and two differently sized paperback formats. It has sold about 30 000 copies to this date.

The Missionary Position

ISBN 0-283-06092-1

Bruce's second novel, The missionary position begins with the battle of Hastings 1066. After the battle comes the old couple Minnie and Harold Hill who are on their way to LA. Unfortunately the run into Iffy who manages to steal all their money and flight tickets. You see, Iffy and his butler, ex-con John Butler is also on their way to LA. Accompanying them is a person with a black plastic bag over his head and body plus the corpse of the twenty-third Laird of Findidnann.

Iffy, as always low on cash, is on his way to LA to become a TV evangelist and yet another adventure unfolds. Those of you familiar with Iron Maiden might recognise the name Jimmy Reptile who in this book has the role of the biggest TV evangelist in the US. Other characters are Senator Standing Johns, who should wear dypers but don't, Tsunami Hoochichoochi, a Japanese business man who's planning to play golf all over the USA, rock manager Casper Waldo who spends his days in an earthquake proof armour plated Jacuzzi (he lives in LA after all), Oral Slither, the Garbo of garbage, the female Fellini of fellatio, famous for the film Oral does the ice box. Mr Hand of fate also makes a special guest appearance, plus many more.

The missionary position was published by Sidgwick & Jackson in 1992.

German editions of Iffy-novels

The two Iffy-novels have been translated and published in Germany in 1996!

The Adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace (left) is called "Lord iffy und die Sex-Maschine" (Lord Iffy and the sexmachine) and The Missionary Position (right) has the title "Lord Iffy und die Spitzen der Gesellschaft" (Lord Iffy and the leaders of society).

Both books were published by Bastei Luebbe and the ISBN number for the latter one is: ISBN 3-404-13792-2

"The Chemical Wedding" book (based on script)

With more background material than needed for the movie the pair of Bruce nd director Julian Doyle decided to write the selfclaimed "first science faction novel". As in the movie, the plot is about Professor Oliver Haddo, a Cambridge scholar who becomes possessed by the spirit of Aleister Crowley. The book offers more insight into the myths, the science and historical events and individuals than in the film. Crowley himself is also given a better and more in-depth presentation and the reader gets to learn less well known facts about him. All this makes a entertaining and thought provoking book.

The book was first published in 2008 by Matador, Troubador publishing.